This is a story of acceptance a journey of discovery.
Recently there has been a movement geared towards women of African descent not using relaxers to alter their natural texture.
Some people are all for it, jumping on the band wagon, and some people not on board because they say it’s too stressful.
I don’t use relaxers on my hair anymore. Here’s why(the long version) .
I am a very self conscious person, I worry about what people think of me a lot, I mean it’s getting better now but it used to be way worse before.
I am shy because I never got to interact with my peers on time. I had a very accelerated education I was 9 years old in my first year of secondary school, for a girl who spent most of her time with her younger siblings and didn’t play with other children alot it was difficult.
I was always the youngest in my class, I remember in Jss3, I preferred to hang out with Jss1 students because they were my age. My own class mates were interested in boys, tights and periods,me,i just wanted to play ‘Catcher’.
I used to think I was very ugly,i hated my nose and it wasn’t until 2008 that I finally said hmm maybe this Ada girl is fine small sha (side note: one of the boys in my Jss classes said I was one of the finest girls in the class 🙌 ,but let’s not focus on that).
I spent most of my time trying to fit in and trying to make sure I was deemed mature, so they could involve me and tell me things and not just be the smart, tinny gbeku, glasses girl. If I could tell my past self anything it would be to tell anyone who called me childish to shove off because I was still a child.
I am almost ashamed to say this but i didn’t know that not relaxing your hair was an option, I thought leaving your natural hair was something that only deeper life people did because they were weird.
The person who inspired me was a friend that did her big chop and I really loved her hair and by that time I was already frustrated with my hair’s problems. I was a limp lifeless thing that I hated.
I transitioned, I was afraid of looking strange but I kept my head high and did it, when my hair came in, I was Sooooooo happy I had weight, it felt healthy and my afro was one in town 😁.
I have come a long way from the unsure, insecure and immature girl who prayed to God that people would like her and prepared conversation in her head for whatever new school (I went to 4 secondary schools) ,she was going to.
I believe my embracing my natural hair is a biiiig part of it. I am not saying I am completely there yet but I am taking GIANT steps.
I am writing this because I started a new hair regimen on November 30, for a 3 month trial period and I was just reminiscing on how far I have come. I really thank God for that. 👋